Make him wear shoes. 90: You’re IQ’s lower than your shoe size. 59: I’m trying to get on your good side, but I haven’t found it yet. I'm a vegetarian."

My wife is in depression, she is standing and looking through the window. Its just that…your numbers not in it. If the rain doesn't stop tomorrow, I'll have to let her in.

Because they don’t have penises to put them in. Because it does not have to stop to change color. The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. A mechanic! It's not hard. 20: What do men and beer bottles have in common? 12 BRUTAL one-liner insults that are WITTY and CLASSY! 78: I have good looking kids. Someone who is too lazy to steal. 27: How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? 26: War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. One day I was at the supermarket peacefully waiting in … Gut them and use them as wetsuits. 41: Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his. 77: He doesn’t know the meaning of fear… but then again, he doesn’t know the meaning of MOST words. Are you in need of some rude lines to make fun of someone.

80: You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. 31: Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Enjoy. 95: You’re like school in the summertime – no class. Truly Tasteless One-Liners. Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. 7: What has got two legs and bleeds? 15: Why wasn’t Jesus born in the USA? 8: How can you tell which is the head nurse? The bucket. Rude one liner jokes. Join for latest updates and learnings! They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely. They are both empty from the neck up. 91: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass? As a community, we try prioritizing positivity around. What used to be rude to hear coming from a woman is observed as a friendly conversation starter.

You just have a bad luck when thinking. Required fields are marked *. 53: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? 33: Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. A happy pit bull. 96: A woman is like a well-served table at which a man looks one way before he eats and differently after he ate. Because that’s what God held them by when he was painting them. You don’t look down. All sorted from the best by our visitors. "No, thanks. 3: Sit down, give your mind a rest – it obviously needs it. Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw, Winston Churchill, were all people of immense importance, but more than that, they knew what CLASSIC CLAPBACKS were as well! 34: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Just asked my wife what she's "burning up for dinner" and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings. Ask your mother.

Page 3. 14: I’m already visualising the duct tape across your mouth.

25: How do crazy people go through the forest? 61: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? The largest collection of rude one-line jokes in the world.

If you are out in public minding your own business and trying to get on with your life, it can be a little surprising to have a rude stranger verbally assault you. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking? Bad idea in your case. 58: I don’t think you act stupid, I’m sure it’s the real thing. 67: I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant. One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. 94: How can you tell if a man is happy? Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how to make Adam. He said okay, you're ugly too. Your email address will not be published. 11.

‘Are you In?’ or ‘Is It In?’. 66: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? Want to dance? 60: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a nigger? Updated: November 14, 2017 6:23:03 pm. Rude Funny Jokes 1 Why did God create Adam before he created eve? 35: Feeling stressed out?

64: My wife sent her photograph to the Lonely Hearts Club. 12 BRUTAL one-liner insults that are WITTY and CLASSY! Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

17: Why are black peoples nostrils so big?

57: If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

30: Why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? A man who hates every bone in a woman’s body, except his own. 85: You’re like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. Page has collection of hilarious rude one liner jokes which are sexist, racist, and full of attitudes. 4: Sorry I didn’t text you back, but my phone recognized your number. A good start.

Slow down and use a lubricant. 97: When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. 70: Stop with the blind jokes … I don´t see the point. 93: Why do blacks smell? 68: Crap. 99: You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you’re doing your best. What is that?} The blonde has the higher sperm count. These funny one liners are as pithy as they are funny. 39: She’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book. Can I push your stool in? 44: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Can I ignore you some other time? We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. 46: What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy? It’s not hard. It's been raining for 3 days without stopping. If you like rude one lines, you may also find sarcastic one liners as a fun read! How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion.

It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first. 29: I’m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time. 42: Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. We at TabloidIndia, love funny short jokes and would love to hear whether you like our collection of rude one liners. 71: Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

The grass tickles their nuts.

74: You don’t sweat much for a fat chick. 1. Something is wrong with my cell phone. 104: I’m busy now.

What are you? 83: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. Ooops, I burnt one! is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby. By January Nelson Updated September 30, 2019. 56: I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. 49: Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. Have fun!

What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? So here you go. 52: What’s yellow and black and makes you laugh: A bus full of niggers going over a cliff. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns, We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. Well, in that case, here is why you should know about the classic insults that the British used to resort to. 2: My friend’s friend is my friend. 28: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

Every time he touched a ‘wound’ it closed. Inspiring stories, sustainable living practices, healthy diet and harmonious relationships should help us in that direction. 1: Why don´t women have men´s brains?

So ugly people would have a chance to have sex. by. 19: Sugar – Honey – Iced – Tea … Guess what it means. So they’d always have at least one way to shut a woman up! 86: Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly. Do you know a funny one liner?

12. 102: Do you know why beer goes through your system so fast? My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum. He got caught drinking on the job. Or should I go to hell again? {Oh Really. 23: I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.

Desperate! 12 BRUTAL one-liner insults that are WITTY and CLASSY! 16: I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. 9: Want to dance?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. 63: Stop with the blind jokes … I don´t see the point. 45: What’s the height of conceit?

37: Why did God make man before woman? 47: What did God say when he saw the first black person? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. Do share your feedback. About 10 pounds. You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really. Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 21: Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? 89: I don’t think you are stupid. And unlike us, who think of things to say hours after somebody made a jibe at us, these guys wasted no time. 55: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? 10. 88: I don’t think it’s rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today’s newspaper. 24: I like you. 84: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? 13: Hi there, I’m a human being! An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" So blind people can hate them too. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. 11: What’s the difference between wife and a blue whale? 40: Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? 101: You’ve got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing.

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